Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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