Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
