This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
