I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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