He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
