You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
