I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
