Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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