So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
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then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
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Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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