I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
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I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
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are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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