p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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