you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
