I'm gonna have a badass scar
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
