The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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