He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
