you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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