Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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