The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
