Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The maid of honor just puked.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
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