dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
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Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
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Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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