she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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