Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Panties = found
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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