Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
