I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
