Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
