Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
