Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Randomize
