My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
