There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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