another moral hangover. fuck.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
