i may or may not be watching the land before time
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
