I love black thongs
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
