I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
