She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I would fuck him just for his dog
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
