There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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