I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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