His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
