Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
