We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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