Don't you send me to vm
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
