who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
