You work out of a Hotel?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
