Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
