I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
