If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Everyone says I win the strip club
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
