tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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