i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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