piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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