I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
