I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Let's get the cat blown out
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
