our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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