Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
