Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
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His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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