Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
