You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
