We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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