So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
