No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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