Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
