i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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